Q: What do you think about allowance, checking accounts, credit cards and money managing?

A: I think it’s crucial for kids to learn how to manage their money and I encourage parents to find classes that will teach them or their kids about saving money, using a checking account, being responsible with a credit card and about stocks and bonds and all those exciting things.

When I get asked about allowance it’s usually something like, “Should I give an allowance for doing chores around the house that they should do anyway?”  Well, no, not for those chores.  Of course everybody should pitch in.  If you are cooking dinner then it makes sense that others would set the table, clear the table, wash the dishes, and put them away.  You may even reason that if you do the shopping someone else should cook!  These are non-allowance activities to my mind.  I would pay for big yard clean-ups, washing and vacuuming the cars, cleaning bathrooms, baby-sitting.

Baby-sitting?? Yes, the babies are YOUR kids and if your need help caring for them because you’re going out on a date or to hang out with the girls, you should pay for caring for them.

Having money teaches kids how to save for the things they want…unless you buy all that stuff for them!  So don’t buy them everything they want.  Offer to pay half if they raise the money or offer to pay the tax and shipping.  When kids have to buy their own fun stuff, they’ll think twice about spending that money.  You can ask them to pay for their cell minutes or some of the car insurance (it does go up quite a bit with a young person on your policy).  Be creative.

As far as credit cards and checking accounts go I would say that depends on your teen.  I never would have been able to handle a checking account or a credit card at a young age.  If your son or daughter is irresponsible with money or likes to buy stuff, don’t assume that they’ll become responsible just because they REALLY want to be.  Ain’t gonna happen, trust me.

Even people with a lot of money can be spendthrifts and don’t save, so don’t assume that because they have a lot that CAN be saved, it WILL be saved!

Oh and by the way, when your kids say, “But everyone else’s parents let them have one/do that activity/be that cool thing/go to that exciting place,” don’t automatically believe them. (or call around and check!)  The reason teens still use that statement is because it still works!  But it’s usually not even close to the truth.

I’d like to recommend the following book by Nathan Dungan: Prodigal Sons and Material Girls: How Not to Be Your Child’s ATM.  Go here for information and to place your order.

Looking for more 1-Minute Parenting Tips? This book has FIFTY! Learn how prepare for - or REPAIR - your relationship with your tween or teen. Release tension, frustration, and confusion. Enjoy your family again (or for the first time!)

Today Katy Lee is my guest. I love her blog - it is chock-full of interesting insights. Katy is the author of the popular parents website Adventures In Parenting. Her stories and experiences inspire other parents to raise the next generation of “good” kids with traditional values. She lives in Southern California with her husband and three almost-grown children.
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How many credit card offers did you get in the mail today? I’ve gotten enough “You’ve been approved” letters to fuel a bonfire. We are bombarded everywhere with all kinds of advertising with messages to spend more money and to buy more things. Subconsciously, we fall into the trap of thinking that life is all about having things. Of course we want a new car, of course we want better furniture, of course we want the latest styles. The more we have, the happier we will be, right?

The definition of “Materialistic” is “a preoccupation with or stress upon material rather than intellectual or spiritual things.” The message of materialism is very subtle. We easily rationalize a materialistic lifestyle by saying we need things to provide for our family and to live comfortably. But are we preoccupied with getting more things? Is this mindset inadvertently teaching our children to be materialistic?

Take a look and see if we are doing any of these things that subtly teach our kids to be materialistic:

1. Going shopping as a favorite pastime.Walking around the mall regularly, even just window shopping, sets our mind on wanting more things.
2. Talking about what other people have and wishing we had the same. “Our neighbors just got a beautiful new Lexus. We are stuck with our 1985 old clunker.” Sigh!
3. Buying the latest gadgets and newest styles. And ending up with lots of stuff in the house that is hardly used.

Since materialism is so pervasive in our culture, we have to make a conscious effort to go against the grain and teach our children that there is more to life than materialism.

Here are a few suggestions to put them on the right path:
1. Go places with your children that do not involve buying. Museums, parks, nature hikes, and fishing are just a few alternatives to the mall.
2. Have an attitude of thankfulness. Instead of dwelling on what we lack, we can say, “I am so glad for everything we have. We are so fortunate.”
3. Do not buy things for your children on a whim. Plan your purchases and teach your children to budget. If they want a toy, teach them to earn it by doing chores or with good behavior. If the toy cost them something, they will value it more.

Two weeks ago I visited my mother’s grave site in remembrance of her birthday. A visit to the cemetery always puts life into perspective for me. I want to teach my children that there is more to life than the material, so that at the end of our lives, we find satisfaction in having really lived the true meaning of life.