Daniel Radcliffe, of Harry Potter fame, has recorded a public service announcement for gay youth suicide prevention with The Trevor Project.
According to this article, Radcliffe says, “I just loathe homophobia. It’s just disgusting and animal and stupid and it’s just thick people who can’t get their heads around it and are just scared…I grew up around gay people entirely. I was the only child in my class who had any experience of homosexuality or anything like that.”
Further, “Radcliffe first became aware of The Trevor Project, founded in 1998 by three filmmakers, while he was appearing on Broadway in the 2008 revival of “Equus.” Their movie, “Trevor,” which won an Academy Award for best short film, concerned a gay teen who attempts suicide. The Trevor Project allows young people to call in for counseling or just to talk.”
The announcement is scheduled to appear this spring.
What I didn’t know when I was saying this is that when we say this, it is ALREADY THAT BAD!
People who are in healthy situations - be they families, romances, work, exercise, or just about any other example - don’t have occasion to say a phrase like, “It’s not bad enough yet.”
Sure, there are ups and downs in life: family stresses, health concerns, work stress - but people who say, “It’s not bad enough yet” are putting off the inevitable.
If you’re in pain, why would you want it to get worse? Why wouldn’t you get help so that the pain can stop?
Is there some pain in your life today? I invite you to take one action to make it better - call someone who can help, ask a trusted friend for his/her opinion, do some journaling, pray about it. Don’t just sit in pain when you could have some relief.
This article was originally published in The Gifted-Teen eMagazine, a free monthly newsletter. Subscribe here.
THE #1 WAY TO INSPIRE YOUR KIDS
We usually think of “inspiration” as something we get from or give to another. But way back when, “inspire” meant “to breathe in.” So what if inspiration is a gift we give to ourselves?
Indeed, the most powerful way to inspire our kids is for us to be inspired by our own lives.
How could this be true? Parenting is such an “outer-directed” activity. We’re constantly thinking about how best to support our kids and, even though, we know the oxygen mask theory (in case of decreased cabin pressure in an airplane, put the mask on yourself before you put it on your child) we don’t really believe that it applies outside of that emergency situation.
The great news is that kids look to parents as their #1 source for information, values, and inspiration. And even better news: when we are living inspired lives, kids live with more inspiration.
You can have your cake (fun) and eat it too (inspire your kids)!
When we live in fear, anxiety and self-pity, our kids pick up on that. It frightens them. Every child wants a happy parent or, at least, one that copes well.
When we live with hope and faith and enthusiasm, they internalize this too. It gives them a feeling of safety, joy and confidence in their own futures!
As I like to say: Our kids inherit our neuroses but they also inherit the healing of our neuroses. Living inspired inspires your children!
Try these exercises to increase the inspiration in your life! (more…)
Q: I’m having a lot of separation anxiety about my son/daughter leaving for college. What can I do to make the transition easier for me?
A: Empty Nest Syndrome is a very real experience for many parents. As one of my dear friends pointed out to me, “I haven’t been a parent for 18 or 20 or 22 years. I’ve been a parent since I was a little girl, at least in my dreams.” That means that you are saying goodbye to a vision that you have carried in your heart since long before your child was born.
This is an important time for you to practice self-care. If you are grieving, allow that. Grieving well, that is grieving fully, is more than just a healing activity. It is transformational. In a way, “good grief” is another act of creation; the You that will emerge will be brighter and clearer and more precious than you can now imagine.
For some parents the empty nest invites new experiences and opportunities to enlarge your Self, your friendships, your marriage or other love relationships. Just as your beloved son or daughter is spreading his or her wings, this is your chance to spread your own and see where the wind takes you.
And they will be back - our kids are always with us and they will continue to astonish and worry and delight us. That you can count on!
Q: I know that you are a parenting coach but I’m having trouble with my spouse. I want to look at our parenting skills but my spouse doesn’t. What do I do?
A: There are two possible issues here:
The tension is marital, and not about parenting at all. If you are clashing about several issues or you feel like you’re not “getting” each other like you used to, it’s time to look at some sort of marital support and guidance. Marriage counselors and relationship coaches can work wonders.
OR… it could be that up until now, nothing big was going on with the kids and parenting was simpler. When it got hard, your differences popped up.
Conventional wisdom would suggest that both parents need to agree. But family reality doesn’t always follow conventional wisdom. If you’re living with your spouse, compromise will be necessary. I suggest that the two of you sit down and choose 3 values that are most important to you both. That means that you’re willing to set limits, expectations, and consequences around these values and their accompanying behaviors. If one of the other of you is not on board with that, throw it out.
On the other hand, I often have to coach just one parent because the other is busy with school or work or parenting all the other kids. Amazingly, even if just one parent starts to implement some new skills, it changes the whole family dynamic for the good.
Summer, 2008 @ the beautiful Mercer Island Community Center
Thursday evenings 7 - 9pm ~ July 17, 24, August 7 and 14 HELP! My Teen Has Been Abducted By Aliens!
Topics will include:
-the teen brain (how to handle the internal influences)
-how to handle the external influences on teens
-different types of parenting - which works best and why?
-communicating with your teens
-setting loving, workable boundaries and consequences What I’m MOST EXCITED ABOUT is that with a multi-session class and a break in the middle (no class on July 31), you’ll actually be able to practice new parenting skills and get professional feedback at a completely reasonable price!
I invite you to join me on May 19, from 7 - 9 pm in Sammamish at the Sahalee Fire Station on 228th Ave. across from Deerfield Park. My topic will be “SUPPORTING YOUR ADD CHILD’S GIFTS.”
What is ADD/ADHD? Is it a real condition? Is it over-diagnosed? Over-medicated? Is it a “catch all” term for kids who just do not seem to want to cooperate in school?….
For those of us who have had our children labeled as “difficult” or “challenging”, that is a question we have been faced with before. Some of us have had our children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, some of us have our children on medication while some choose not to medicate. Are there formulas for treating these kids? Are there methods that work better than others in helping us bring out the true potential in these bright, but often complex and trying kids?
At our next Parent Networking Meeting, we will hear from Margit Crane, M.A., M.S., M.Ed., founder of “Rock the World Coaching”, who works with gifted and high energy kids in her practice, as well as having been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD herself, as an adult! Margit will share her personal and professional expertise with us about how we can bring out the best in these kids of ours and help build their confidence and self-esteem as they navigate through school and beyond. (more…)
I love to recommend the site, “Cool Moms Care.” Michelle Andrade is doing great work giving back to the world. You can read my interview with her here.
In the meantime, she interviewed me for her blog. You can read about my own community work here. I’m happy to be a “Cool Mom” who cares!
This article is IMPORTANT! I’ve set it up so it’s easy to read and easy to find key information. * Don’t make excuses for not reading it or printing it out and reading it later. * You could be saving a child’s life… perhaps your own child.
This is the Feature Article for the May 2008 issue of my f*ree monthly eZine, Rock Your World!
If you’d like to subscribe, go to www.RockTheWorldCoaching.com and enter your name and email address in the subscription box on the right.
I’m dividing this post into four sections:
Why is it important to recognize and deal with substance abuse?
What is the difference between use and abuse?
How do I know if my teen is abusing drugs and/or alcohol?
How do I help my teen?
Other resources
Why is it important to recognize and deal with substance abuse?
Teen substance use is not just a normal part of growing up. It can be a problem before it “gets out of hand.”
All drugs, including alcohol and cigarettes, stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain and affect emotions, attention, judgment, memory, and learning.
Teens who are USING (not just ABusing) are likely to…
Participate in thrill-seeking or high-risk behaviors such as unprotected sex, joy-riding, unsafe versions of normal activities (such as swimming… in a flood plain during torrential rains), or daredevil pacts.
Use other drugs. “If one is good, two are better,” is a common refrain from people with addictive personalities.
Have academic difficulties
Have trouble creating and maintaining relationships and emotional bonds
Commit non-violent crimes
Be involved in violent crimes
Have severe health issues
Commit suicide
Teen substance use can very quicky progress from experimentation to abuse to addiction. Teens are particularly susceptible to addiction because their brain biology is much more fragile than that of adults. Once addicted, all of the above behaviors become much more likely to occur; the downward spiral is quick and dirty. In fact, teens can move from experimentation to addiction in less than one year! (more…)
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